Loneliness: Just a state of mind
Being alone is possible only when you choose to be…
“Loneliness is the state of mind when one prefers to stay excluded from society.”
Consider the following situations that often take place :
A. You’re physically alone, without known people around you,
B. You may be surrounded by many, but you enjoy the company of none,
C. You want to be with one particular person (or a set of people) at that time but situations hold you amidst other sections.
Physically alone: without known people around you.
This situation is often self-created.
A person chooses to stay alone over getting involved with the others probably because of the following reasons:
a) One’s own feelings(often unrealistic) that I will spoil the togetherness of others. b) I do not meet their standards of communication. c)They are not of my standard(usually below).
We normally do something productive or some recreational, when alone. But in case you have a thought of being alone, then it comes to your emotional strength which is dependent on your upbringing. Some people are either ‘practical’ or ‘mature enough’ and do not let themselves down with the emotional flow’. But those who are fond of overthinking get stuck on the situational analysis. They further dig out the past events and visualise them all as a collective effort that is made to seclude him/her by those around. It happens when you are emotionally attached to someone or a set of people. The collection of all those thoughts peels away all of your strength and makes you worry about almost worthless things.
Here, the requirement is to know that you are into a few things that are growing because of the existing communication gap and is broadening with time.
You should try to sit and talk, give time to yourself and them as well to realise the importance of shared bond. In case, things don’t work out, you might have to take a bold practical step to uplift yourself from this mental state alone as soon as possible. Because once it ends, then comes the realisation that a lot of time is wasted which could have been invested in a better way.
Surrounded by a lot of people, but you enjoy the company of none…
This arises due to lack of confidence( regarding some specific skill or past event).
You newly entered some group or organisation where some events made you feel inferior to your co-workers, you eventually find reasons to avoid social gathering with them. Slowly and gradually this feeling become strong enough to affect your quality of work. Extremum may even lead to your exit from that group or organisation.
Here, need is to understand your potential rather than comparing the extraordinary skill set that your colleagues may have. You must have faith in the reason that brings all of you on the same working platform. I know it’s easier said than done, but here you need to realise the opportunity to learn different things from people in your immediate surroundings.
You want to be with one particular person (or a set of people) at that time but situations hold you amongst other section.
This happens when you have a newly built relationship or a fresh bond with a set of people. You now want to steal time from your social gathering of professional acquaintances. But because of some reasons, you have to stay with them. Here, two cases arise, you either pretend that you are involved in the gathering or you escape from the conversation and hold a corner seat.
This situation does not refer to loneliness but in case the period stretches it falls in the same category.
You now need to clarify to yourself- the equal importance of your social aspect. As now, in this case, you have no other option but to stay back in the place where you are held, try to involve yourself in the conversations around. Startup by pretending that you are involved in it. Get a break from the thought of “the pleasure of being with them”. Try to get in with the people and give honest inputs in the conversation. This is required to keep yourself intact with the people you “were and are” involved with.
Above are the scenarios that happen with almost everyone. Need is just of the realisation and making honest efforts to get out of this state. It is really important because it takes too much attention from our day to day activities which eventually leads to a decrease in performance quality.
